About Me

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This blog really isn't designed to be about ME, however I am willing to share my life with you so that you can gain knowledge about living with cancer, the importance of continued research in cancer fighting drugs, and how the FDA's decisions on releasing or pulling a drug from cancer patients can greatly impact many lives. While my cancer is advanced breast cancer, I am fighting for all cancers, and actually life in general. My life has been directly affected by many other cancers as family members, friends and chemo buddies have died from various cancers. Each one of these people have shaped my life and I am fighting to honor their fight, and to continue fighting for all of us touched by this horible disease in some way. Most of all, I'm fighting for the right of my 11 year old daughter to continue having a healthy mother, and for my Husband and Mother to keep them from the pain and torment that comes from seeing a loved one die from cancer. The FIGHT IS ON!! Please join me!!!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Blood Does Amazing Things!!!

The title of this post is weird I know, but it will all make sense in the end. 

While on FB for a few minutes today, I suddenly realized that it has been forever since I've updated my blog.  So many kind messages were on my wall and in my messages.  I appreciate all of the support that you give me...it is uplifting and encouraging!!  Thanks for the prayers and concerns.  A lot has happened in the last 3 months and I hope to update you without boring you.

Although it seems slow to me, my close friends that see me often say that I've come so far and keep improving daily.  Some days are better than others, but I agree that I seem to be getting better.  Daily I'm told by someone that I am so positive and encouraging.  Well...it may seem that way, it's really just that I complain and dump all frustrations and fears upon my family and very close friends.  They can tell you the truth...I handle things the way everyone else does, just one day at a time.  My mother asked me a few weeks ago if there would ever be another day in my life where I'm not overwhelmed by cancer.  Once she said that, I realized she was the one that had to listen to every complaint I had.  It was also somewhat of a good thing to be asked that because she was right...I am consumed by thoughts of my days very sick in the hospital, and by the pain that takes over my body about exactly half of all time now, and by living from blood test to blood test anticipating what each one would read.  Since the day she asked me that question, I have made a conscious effort not to complain when I felt pain and to try hard not to think about my health.  It has been hard for me to do, but I am making some progress in letting go of the thoughts of "what ifs" and "what is to come."  My efforts lately have been focusing on others with cancer and being supportive to them, and sharing whatever knowledge I may have.

One thing that has been a positive change in my life is that I have started reading the Bible every night, and got through the new testament.  The last few weeks, I have to admit, I've not been good at reading.  Almost as if I finished a book.  Then one day, sitting in the "chemo" chair while getting two units of blood, it occurred to me just how important and amazing blood is.  Blood is gross!  Most people don't want to see it.  We take it for granted unless we become aware of what it does for us.  I had no idea until this year how GOOD blood makes us feel.  When you become low in blood, the body starts getting extremely weak.  Effort is needed for the simplest task, and even then your body becomes breathless, fighting to get the oxygen needed to do ANYTHING!  It is the most exhausting feeling I've ever known, and lately it seems as if I've been having to get blood monthly.  So...anyway...back to the reading of the Bible...while reclining back in that chair after being hooked up to fluids waiting on my 2 units of blood to arrive at the infusion center, I thought "It's the SAME FEELING!  When your soul is feeling tired, week, and empty...what we need is to open our Bibles and read about the blood that saves us... the blood of CHRIST!  That blood restores my soul just as the donated units of blood restores my body!"  The days that I go in to receive blood, I'm dragging into the building, but when I leave the center, I'm already feeling the energy I had been missing.  Anyway...I just had to share that with you.  It amazes me how much better I feel when I read my Bible.  The blood of Jesus will save my soul, and the blood of gracious blood donors saves my body. 

Now...My latest Houston trip.

My test results showed that my treatment appears to be working at the moment.  Everything was either the exact same or better.   We were so HAPPY to hear that.  All of my complications (numbness in hands and feet, low blood counts, exhaustion and being winded) were directly related to the effects of the chemotherapy.  The approach to dealing with this is to not have chemo so often.  Now instead of having chemo weekly, I have it every other week.  Believe it or not...I am pretty sure my hair is coming back in with the change in treatment.  I hope!  Our hopes and prayers are that the reduced chemotherapy will continue to maintain the cancer where it is, and not allow it to start growing again.  If this does not do the trick, then I'm sure my doctor has many other options to try.  I have great faith in his knowledge.  When he told me the news that my test showed some improvement, I immediately asked why my pain hasn't improved.  He told me that the location of my pain is probably due to an extremely damaged lung due to cancer, past infection, and inflammation.  The pain may never completely go away.  I keep pain patches on all of the time.  Some days I have no pain, and others it is so intense that nothing will touch it.  There doesn't seem to be a pattern of when and why it comes when it does.  My mom thinks that the days before painful times, I do too much.  Maybe so, I haven't made that connection yet.  Overall, I am better!  I'll take it with the pain any day!!  The next trip to Houston is in November, and I plan on getting more good news. 

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and continued support.  My hometown and network community have been wonderful.  Thanks!

God Bless!!